The Life Dance: Balancing Being, Doing, and Planning

 We often speak of happiness as though it were a destination: somewhere we’ll finally arrive once the right conditions line up. Yet, in truth, happiness is not a place but a rhythm—a dance that requires us to balance three essential steps: Being, Doing, and Planning. Each of these is vital, and neglecting one can throw the whole rhythm out of sync.

Being: The Stillness of Presence

“Being” is the quiet, grounding state where we step out of the stream of activity and simply exist. It is meditation, mindful breathing, a quiet walk, or simply sitting with loved ones without distraction. In being, we reconnect with our deeper selves, our values, and the sheer wonder of life. Without moments of being, our days risk becoming mechanical, hurried, and devoid of meaning.

Doing: The Energy of Action

“Doing” is the active expression of our lives—the projects we complete, the conversations we have, the meals we prepare, and the service we give. Doing gives us momentum and a sense of accomplishment. It is the outward expression of our talents, our responsibilities, and our commitments. Yet without the anchor of being, doing can easily turn into overdoing, leaving us exhausted and hollow.

Planning: The Compass of Intention

“Planning” is the bridge between being and doing. It’s the act of looking ahead, setting priorities, and charting a course that aligns with our deeper values. Planning ensures our actions are not just reactions to circumstances but conscious choices moving us closer to our desired life. Without planning, doing risks becoming scattershot and ineffective. Too much planning, however, can trap us in analysis, keeping us from the joy of action or the peace of presence.

The Dance of Balance

True happiness and success emerge when we allow these three movements to flow together in harmony. Being nourishes the soul, doing fulfills the will, and planning provides direction. Together they form a life dance—dynamic, alive, and adaptive.

When we feel stressed or unfulfilled, it is often because one of these steps has been neglected. Too much doing without being? Burnout. Too much being without planning? Drifting. Too much planning without action? Stagnation.

A Practical Rhythm for Daily Life

• Morning: Begin with Being—silence, gratitude, or a mindful ritual.

• Daytime: Engage in Doing—focused, purposeful activity aligned with your values.

• Evening: Turn to Planning—reflect, learn, and set intentions for tomorrow.

Over time, this rhythm becomes not just a schedule but a way of life.

Closing Thought

The Life Dance is not about perfection but flow. Each day, we may falter, but each moment also offers a chance to return to balance. When Being, Doing, and Planning move together, we discover a happiness that is not fleeting but rooted, and a success that is not shallow but deeply satisfying.

Princess, the Quantum Orangutan

I am often asked: “How is Princess the orangutan?”

The truth is, I don’t know. The last time I saw Princess was in late October 2011. I saw her on an ecotour for just a day. She was lean, clever, and carrying on her life in the forest. She remembered many of the signs I taught her.

After that last visit, both Princess and Putri were relocated to a release camp on a different river system to prevent Princess from being attacked by aggressive females at Camp Leakey, her home since I adopted her in 1978.

Since then, I’ve only received scattered reports—one being that her daughter, Putri, came to the release camp alone, without Princess, looking agitated. Some suspected Princess might have died. But during fruiting periods, orangutans are known to avoid feeding stations, preferring to spend months in the forest foraging on wild fruit.

But beyond those glimpses and possibilities—silence.

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A Life in Quantum Balance

And in that silence, Princess exists in a peculiar way: both present and absent, both living and perhaps gone. She is in what I like to call a quantum state, much like Schrödinger’s famous cat—simultaneously alive and dead until we open the box, until someone brings proof one way or another.

“Until someone collapses the uncertainty with evidence, she remains alive in my heart and imagination.”

This is not just an intellectual trick. It is how we cope with uncertainty in the wild. Orangutans, unlike humans, don’t leave obituaries. They slip away into the forest, sometimes never to be seen again—even though they may live for decades more.

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Choosing Hope

I prefer to believe Princess is still alive—clambering through the trees, searching for wild durian, perhaps even pausing to reflect in those quiet, contemplative ways orangutans so often do.

Princess’s quantum state also speaks to something larger: the fragility of the orangutans’ existence itself. They hover on the edge between survival and extinction, depending on our actions.

• If we do nothing, the wave function collapses toward loss.

• If we act—with education, protection, and compassion—the future opens wide with possibility.

So I, the Orangutan Dad, keep Princess alive, not only for myself but as a symbol. She reminds me that while science demands proof, hope requires faith. And in that liminal space between the known and unknown, Princess the Quantum Orangutan endures.

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Postscript: A Quiet Choice

During a film shoot a few years later, I heard about an aggressive male orangutan who had been harassing the females around the release station. When I thought about Princess, I began to imagine her quietly making a choice.

She had already brought five young ones into the world and devoted years of her life to their care. Perhaps, sensing the dangers of another pregnancy and the very real risks of childbirth for an older orangutan, she decided to slip away.

I like to think she moved inland, closer to Camp Leakey—seeking peace, freedom, and the dignity of living life on her own terms.

Happiness in an Imperfect World

In my last post, I wrote about the possibility of limitless happiness. Yet a natural question arises: how can one be happy while at the same time being deeply concerned about the state of the environment, the decline of endangered species, the violence in our communities, and the corruption in our governments?

Isn’t happiness naïve in such a world? Doesn’t empathy for suffering lead to anguish?

The paradox is real. To care deeply is to open ourselves to pain. But it does not mean we must drown in it.

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Pain Without Suffering

When we witness a forest burning or hear of another endangered species sliding closer to extinction, we feel pain because we care. That pain is a sign of compassion, not a flaw. But suffering often comes when we resist reality, or when we believe we must single-handedly fix it all.

The first step is to allow pain to inform us without letting it consume us. Pain can be a guide; suffering need not be the outcome.

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From Angst to Purpose

The weight of the world becomes lighter when empathy is channeled into action. Instead of despair, we can let our concern inspire us to:

• Educate and uplift others.

• Protect what remains of our natural heritage.

• Speak out against injustice and corruption.

Action turns angst into purpose. And purpose nourishes joy.

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Holding Two Truths

Life is never just one thing. The world is filled with cruelty and destruction. But it is also filled with wonder, beauty, and love.

The trick is to hold both truths without collapsing into either despair or denial. A sunrise, the laughter of a child, the gaze of an orangutan—all remind us that beauty persists even in dark times. Happiness grows in the soil of gratitude.

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Fierce Compassion

True compassion is not weak; it is fierce. It means:

• Feeling deeply, but not drowning.

• Acting strongly, but not hating.

• Protecting fiercely, while maintaining inner stillness.

This balance allows us to engage with the world’s pain without being broken by it.

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Inner Sanctuaries

To sustain happiness, we must create daily sanctuaries of renewal. For me, it might be a walk in the park with my wife, time spent in quiet reflection, or the joy of writing stories that connect humans with the lives of orangutans.

For you, it may be meditation, music, gardening, or time with loved ones. These practices refill the well from which compassion flows.

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A Longer View

The challenges we face—deforestation, climate change, crime, corruption—do not resolve overnight. They unfold over generations. Remembering this can free us from the urgency that breeds despair. Every action, however small, bends the arc toward healing.

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Happiness as Steadfast Ground

Ultimately, our happiness need not depend on the outcome of global struggles. It arises from living in alignment with our values. By cultivating joy within, we are not retreating from the world but strengthening our ability to serve it.

Happiness, then, is not a denial of suffering—it is the soil that allows compassion and action to flourish.

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The lesson is simple but profound:

We can be happy and deeply concerned. We can feel the pain of the world without being consumed by it. By anchoring ourselves in purpose, gratitude, and inner stillness, we sustain the happiness that allows us to keep giving, keep protecting, and keep loving—even in an imperfect world.

Limitless Happiness, Part 3: Anchoring Joy for a Lifetime

In Part 1, we began by defining limitless happiness, exploring self-knowledge, and freeing ourselves from the grip of external validation.

In Part 2, we uncovered the traps of desire, quick fixes, and comparison that can quietly pull us off course.

Now we turn to the practices that make happiness enduring—not dependent on trends, possessions, or fleeting moods, but rooted so deeply that it becomes part of who you are.

1. Purpose and Meaning as Anchors

When happiness is tethered only to personal comfort or achievement, it can feel fragile. Purpose gives it weight and direction.

Purpose doesn’t have to mean a grand, world-changing mission—it can be as simple as nurturing your family, mentoring a young person, tending a garden, or creating art that inspires. What matters is that it connects you to something larger than yourself.

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’”

When you have a why, life’s challenges don’t erase your happiness—they deepen it, because you see them as part of your larger story.

2. Mindfulness and Presence

Mindfulness is not a buzzword—it’s the art of fully inhabiting the moment you are in.

It’s the ability to savor a meal without scrolling your phone, to hear a friend’s words without rehearsing your reply, to walk outside and actually feel the air on your skin.

When you live in presence, happiness is no longer delayed until some future event. It’s woven into the ordinary now. And the beauty of this practice is that the more you cultivate it, the more life feels vivid, meaningful, and whole.

3. Resilience: The Happiness Shield

Life will throw storms at you—loss, illness, failure, change. Resilience is the skill that allows you to bend without breaking.

Resilience doesn’t mean you never feel pain; it means you don’t stay stuck there. You recover, adapt, and carry forward the wisdom the hardship taught you.

And the stronger your resilience, the more you can experience happiness not as something fragile and easily taken away, but as something that can coexist with life’s inevitable ups and downs.

The Heart of Limitless Happiness

Happiness is not a trophy to be won, a product to be purchased, or a destination to arrive at. It’s a way of being—nurtured by truth, shaped by purpose, and sustained by presence.

When you step back from the noise of consumer promises, from the pressure of comparison, and from the lure of shortcuts, you see that you were never lacking. The joy you sought “out there” has always lived “in here.”

Limitless happiness is not about adding more to your life.

It’s about removing the barriers that keep you from seeing that you already have enough to feel whole.

So, take a deep breath. Trust your path. And know this: you are free to choose happiness at every step, because it was never anyone else’s to give or take.

Limitless Happiness, Part 2: Escaping the Subtle Traps

In Part 1 of this series, we explored the foundations of limitless happiness—defining what it really means, deepening self-knowledge, and freeing ourselves from the constant need for external validation.

But even as we grow in self-awareness, we can still stumble into subtle traps that keep happiness just out of reach. These traps aren’t always obvious. Sometimes, they masquerade as motivation, opportunity, or even self-care. If we don’t recognize them, they can quietly erode our peace of mind.

Let’s look at three of the most common.

1. The Influence of Desire and Attachment

Desire is a double-edged sword. It drives innovation, art, and human progress. But when left unchecked, it can turn into attachment—where happiness becomes tethered to getting and keeping something.

We’ve all experienced it: the anticipation of a new car, the excitement of a dream vacation, or the rush of starting a relationship. But once the novelty fades, we often feel the itch for the next thing.

The Buddhist perspective is clear: desire itself isn’t the enemy—it’s clinging to the outcome that causes suffering. Limitless happiness comes from learning to appreciate without grasping, to love without the fear of losing, and to let go without resentment.

2. The Temptation of Quick Fixes

In a fast-paced world, patience is a hard sell. Everywhere we turn, someone is offering a shortcut:

- A 10-day program for instant confidence.

- A gadget that promises better health without effort.

- A “proven” system for overnight success.

Quick fixes are tempting because they bypass the discomfort of real change. But they rarely address the deeper issues. A friend once told me she bought an expensive meditation device because she “couldn’t meditate on her own.” Six months later, it sat unused on a shelf—while the stress she hoped to escape still followed her.

True growth and happiness are built, not bought. They come from consistent practice, not from skipping the work.

3. Social Comparison and FOMO

Comparison is hardwired into human psychology—we evolved to track our place in the social hierarchy. But in the age of social media, we’re not just comparing ourselves to our neighbors or coworkers. We’re comparing ourselves to carefully curated, often unrealistic highlights from hundreds or thousands of people.

FOMO—Fear of Missing Out—turns this comparison into anxiety. We see friends traveling, starting businesses, running marathons, and we wonder if we’re falling behind.

But here’s the truth: nobody is “ahead” or “behind” in life. There is no single race. Your journey is uniquely yours, and the more you honor your own pace, the less power FOMO will have over you.

Where We Go Next

In Part 3, we’ll explore how to anchor happiness in purpose, cultivate mindfulness and presence, and strengthen resilience so that no matter what life throws at you, your sense of fulfillment remains unshaken.

These aren’t just techniques—they are ways of living that make limitless happiness not just possible, but natural.

Limitless Happiness, Part 1: The First Steps Inward

We live in an age where “happiness” is marketed as a product—something to be earned, bought, or displayed. There’s always a new lifestyle upgrade, personal development hack, or exotic retreat that promises to unlock joy. And yet, despite the abundance of tools and opportunities, many people report feeling more anxious, more restless, and less fulfilled than ever.

This is because lasting happiness—what I call limitless happiness—isn’t something you acquire. It’s something you cultivate. It begins not with buying, achieving, or chasing, but with understanding.

In this three-part series, we’ll explore the foundations of limitless happiness, starting with three crucial steps: defining what it truly means, learning who you are, and seeing through the trap of external validation.

1. Defining “Limitless Happiness”

Before we can find it, we need to understand what we’re looking for.

Happiness is often confused with pleasure, excitement, or comfort. These can be part of it, but they are fleeting—more like sparks than a steady flame. Limitless happiness is less about constant joy and more about removing the artificial ceilings we place on our well-being: fear, self-doubt, and the belief that we can only be happy if certain conditions are met.

For example, think of someone who says, “I’ll be happy when I get the promotion.” They might feel a rush when it happens, but before long, the mind sets a new condition—more money, a bigger house, a different relationship. Limitless happiness comes when joy is no longer conditional.

2. The Role of Self-Knowledge

The first step toward unconditional happiness is knowing yourself deeply.

This isn’t just about personality quizzes or a weekend of soul-searching—it’s an ongoing process of noticing what truly energizes you, what drains you, and what values guide your choices. Journaling, meditation, and quiet walks without your phone are all simple ways to start listening to yourself.

A friend of mine once left a high-paying corporate job for a modest position at a community garden. On paper, it made no sense. But she had realized through years of self-reflection that she valued connection to nature, creativity, and calm over prestige. She traded her “dream job” for a dream life.

3. The Trap of External Validation

Once you start to understand yourself, you’ll notice how much of your life may have been shaped by outside approval.

From social media likes to family expectations, external validation is everywhere. It’s not inherently bad to enjoy recognition—it can be motivating—but if your sense of worth depends on it, you become trapped.

Consider how often advertising plays on this vulnerability:

-Beauty products promise confidence.

-Luxury brands promise status.

-Tech gadgets promise connection.

The unspoken message is, “Without this, you’re not enough.” Breaking free from that message is liberating—and essential to finding happiness that doesn’t disappear the moment the applause stops.

Where We Go Next

In Part 2, we’ll go deeper into the emotional and philosophical terrain that shapes happiness. We’ll explore The Influence of Desire and Attachment, The Temptation of Quick Fixes, and Social Comparison and FOMO—and how to navigate them without losing your center.

Happiness is not found in the next purchase or achievement. It’s found in the quiet recognition that you already hold the keys—you just have to learn where you’ve hidden them.

Fever Dreams in Surabaya: Thoughts in a Whirlpool

It began with a scratchy throat and a heaviness in my head. By evening in my wife’s brother’s home in Surabaya, the fever had settled in like an unwelcome guest. A home test confirmed what I suspected—COVID had found me.

Plans for the next three days—meetings, phone calls, quiet writing—dissolved into the slow motion of illness. I spent hours stretched out isolated from the others, the sounds of the household drifting in from other rooms, the world narrowed to the whir of the AC and the restless churn of my own thoughts.

And churn they did. Ideas and memories circled endlessly, like leaves caught in a whirlpool—sometimes colliding, sometimes spinning apart, occasionally joining in strange combinations. Conservation strategies I’d been mulling for months brushed up against flashes from old expeditions. A scene for my next book tangled with a memory of an orangutan pausing mid-climb to look down at me with quiet curiosity. The whirlpool carried everything—trivial details, grand ideas, and scraps of unfinished plans—around and around, as if waiting for something to settle.

Somewhere in the haze, my mind landed on Alfred Russel Wallace, the British naturalist who, while in the Malay Archipelago, was also laid low by a tropical fever—malaria, in his case. He wasn’t in Surabaya, but on another island called Ternate in what is now Indonesia, and in that delirium he pieced together one of biology’s most powerful ideas: the theory of natural selection.

I couldn’t help but wonder—was it the fever that loosened the threads in his thinking, allowing new patterns to emerge? Did the altered state strip away the usual constraints, letting disparate observations weave into something entirely new?

In my own much smaller way, I recognized the same strange unlocking. The fever had softened the usual walls between ideas, letting them eddy and mingle in ways they might not have under clearer conditions.

By the time the fever broke, the whirlpool began to slow, its contents drifting back into familiar channels. But a few thoughts remained suspended—bright, unanchored, and ready to be explored. Illness had been the price, but clarity, in its odd fever-born way, had been the gift.